LAWAN LOGIK

"Engkau gilakah Hajar! Engkau ditinggal tanpa sekelumit bekal di tanah kontang. Tiada manusia lain selain bayi engkau. Padang pasir sepanas bara dan berhaba seperti dibakar matahari. .... Anak engkau hanya bayi. Makin bertambah kesukaran engkau...Engkau berlari ke sana ke mari, lapar, haus.... anak engkau hampir kebuluran, engkau bersendirian, berjuang untuk hidup ... Manusia apakah dia? ... Ditinggalkan anak dan isterinya di tempat tiada makanan, tiada manusia, tiada bumbung... kepala umpama dipayungi bara, kaki umpama disalai api....Engkau disiksa jiwa, dan didera tanpa makan dan perlindungan. Nah!!! bila engkau dah jumpa air, bila engkau dah selesa dengan tempat ini, anak engkaupun besar, dah mula remaja, dah boleh bantu engkau... dia datang bagitahu engkau, dia nak sembelih anak engkau, dia nak siksa engkau lagi, dia nak pedihkan hati engkau lagi...dan dia kata.. arahan itu datang dalam mimpi... engkau boleh percaya ke laki engkau, Hajar... bukan gila ke namanya itu. Engkau besarkan anak begitu tersiksa sekali....Tak mungkin ada manusia boleh mengatasi derita engkau dari wujud dunia hingga akhir dunia,... engkau nak biarkan dia bunuh satu-satunya milik engkau, fikirlah Hajar" agaknya itulah bisikan syaitan ke fikiran Siti Hajar ketika Nabi Ibrahim memberitahu Hajar bahawa Allah mewahyukan baginda untuk menyembelih anak mereka, Nabi Ismail.

"Ibrahim seorang Rasul dan baginda berbuat semata-mata kerana Allah. Aku tidak perlukan logik kamu untuk mencari kebenaran" agaknya itulah bidasan Siti Hajar ketika dia menolak mentah-mentah usul syaitan.

Besok kita merayakan Hari Raya Qurban. Menghayati Peristiwa dimana Allah menggantikan qibas atas keluhuran Nabi Ismail yang hampir menyembelih Nabi Ibrahim demi perintah Allah. Tidak pernah ada logik dalam pengorbanan dan keikhlasan hakiki.

STUNNING

"I started with a VHS player, two people and small office in 1993", said Jeff Barnes. He touched down KL on Friday and perhaps had returned to either one of his hubs in Santa Barbara or Santa Monica. Since inception, he had done more than 80 stunning imagery visual effects for G.I. Joe,Rise Of Cobra, Night at The Museum 2, Wolverine, Seven Pounds, Iron Man, The Kite Runner, Spiderman 3, Ghost Rider, Sin City, King Kong, Memoirs of The Geisha, Master & Commander, The Aviator, Fast & Furious Tokyo Drift, Armagaddon and many more.

His Pan Labyrinth won an Academy Award and an Emmy for HBO's John Adam. Now he is working on Alice in Wonderland and Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island.

"This is my first time to this part of this world," he said, "but one thing I want to leave it with you... despite what other filmmakers said about live shoot, dont do it, just do it on a computer". That was his parted shot during the closing ceremony.

Unfortunately I couldnt attend his one day talk. I was listening to the Prison Break director in the other room. They shouldn't do it concurrently.

SHOW IT TO THE WORLD

"You have the camera," he said while showing his handphone to the participants, "you have a story to tell. Tell it from here..." while he put his palm on his left chest, ..."and you have the distributor ready for you.... What stops you from telling the world your story?" asked the director of Prison Break TV series in his directing workshop in Kuala Lumpur, today.

"Do you know where your distributor is?" he directed his question to one of the guys sitting in front. The guy just shook his head. "YouTube", he added, "download it to the youtube and now you have no reason not to direct your own movie".

WHAT A FEELING

"When I reread your paper, I think Malaysia and my country may have the same problem", said the english man. He is one of the organizers of the seminar.

It was my first experience presenting paper in a seminar. Today. Wow! what a feeling. The fact it was organised by a world body makes it more memorable. Thank you Hani for constructing the text. Hani believed I confused the participants when I told her the secretariat might have under printed the paper as many were asking for copies.

STAY AWAKE

"Unbelievable!" said Salman Sugimoto. "They are taking their children to restaurant at midnight." It was four years ago when we were in the car passing mamak restaurant while on the way taking him back to his place of stay in Kuala Lumpur. He said no parent would take their very young children to eating places after midnight in his hometown Nagoya. I didn't see Salman anymore, maybe he didn't come back to Malaysia

Yesterday, three of Botswanian students came to my office. "Fabulous,..." said Thato Terence, "...we can still go out and get food at 3 am at cyberjaya"

"In Gaborone..." interjected Keogile Jeremiah about his capital city, "...people normally go to sleep at ten.... Since I am here, I am also beginning to be like the locals, and now I am having problem sleeping at night. Only at about four, I can only manage to sleep"

"Why people are still awake until wee hours" asked another student

NO COMPROMISE

"No compromise. That is one thing I learnt." I was talking about my directing job. The assistant director just nodded. I had been cautioned before but I didn't take it seriously. I misread the definition of good working relations.

I had requested carpet for flooring, crane for top angle and moving shots. It is film, every move counts, every focus matters, a slight error and miscalculation is terribly damaging. I asked a certain shot and expected filmic depth from the DoP. I didnt get what I wanted for reasons seem to be valid.

Film is about selling emotions. I shouldn't be logical. I should have demanded rather than just establishing. The result might appear normal but normal is not what filmmaker aspiring to.

"Nobody offers me directing job anymore. They thought the last job was mine. It wasn't me. They were so many invisible hands. I should have kept my feet firm." It was an advice from a very talented actor turned film director and made a u turn to acting again when his compromising attitude halted his directing profession midway.

I should have listened to him long time ago. No compromise. Hopefully I got a second chance

MATI

"Fatimah meninggal jam 1.15 tadi" terpancar mesej di telefon aku ketika aku mengaktifkan kembali telefon selepas solat jumaat empat minggu lepas. Aku ketika itu baru hendak bergerak ke mesyuarat produksi iklan TV. Aku cuba menelefon sepupu aku, sipenghantar mesej. Mungkin terlalu ramai orang bertanya tentang arwah isterinya, Panggilan itu tidak berjawab.

Aku terus ke mesyuaratku dan meminta diri selepas habis perkara yang melibatkan aku. Kucuba menelefon lagi tetapi tidak berjawab. Lantas ku telefon Aid, adik kepada sepupu yang kematian isteri itu.

"Kebumi petang ini juga, selepas Asar. Solat jenazah di TTDI jaya," kata Aid.

Hari itu jenazah dikebumikan dalam rembas-rembas hujan melangkaui maghrib yang gelap dengan hanya disinari spotlight van jenazah. Kaum keluarga yang baru mengetahui di saat pendek, berlari ke kubur sebelum jenazah diturunkan ke liang. Lebih ramai tiba ketika liang ditimbus. Syahdu talqin sayup di bawa angin malam. Di situ jugalah kami bersolat maghrib di atas tarmac parkir

Seminggu selepas itu, ketika pelajar-pelajar aku membuat pembentangan akhir di dewan kuliah, telefon aku bergetar senyap. Aku memadam telefon dan menghantar mesej, "Ada apa Sim, aku dalam kelas"

"Mak mertua aku baru meninggal, bawa balik rumah, mandi, solat, kebumi kat Seremban" tertera mesej dari Kasim, jiran depan rumah aku. Malam itu aku balik dari kolej dan singgah ketika jemaah surau hampir menamatkan tahlil.

Hatiku terdetik ketika duduk bersandar dan mengambil surah Yassin. Biasanya dalam pengalaman hidupku, jika ada dua meninggal dalam waktu dekat dan dalam lingkaran hubungan mereka kepadaku sama sifatnya, akan ada lagi menjadikan jumlahnya angka ganjil. Lingkaran hubungan hampir sama sifat. Hubungan aku kepada simati berpaksi kepada orang yang kurapat. Seorang isteri kepada sepupu rapat, seorang lagi emak mertua kepada jiran ripat. Hubungan aku dengan Kedua-dua simati tidak rapat denganku.

Minggu lepas ketika aku membuat pembentangan skrip korporat video di pejabat klien, masuk satu panggilan yang terus kumatikan. Panggilan itu datang dari anak sepupuku, yang sebaya denganku dan pernah serumah bujang denganku. Sudah hampir dua puluh tahun aku tidak berjumpa dia dan sudah begitu lama aku tidak bercakap dengan dia walaupun masing-masing menyimpan nombor masing-masing.

Aku mesej dia kembali bertanya hal.

"Abang aku meninggal malam tadi dan baru sahaja dikebumikan" jawab mesejnya. Abangnya tidak begitu rapat denganku.